I used to tell lies, no, not for a living, but for entertainment. In my personal file you will find the documentation. You will find a news clipping headed;

Harrington To Defend Liar's Trophy. The article reads in part, "Defending Champion Dr. Eldred R. Harrington headlines a field of four seasoned entries for "Liar of the Year" honors at the Knights of Columbus Hall here (Albuquerque) on April 26, 1962.

"There are three other contenders for the 1962 Golden Bull Trophy. Entries include former 2-time winner Ervin (Pat) Murray, an employee of the US Forest Service. Others are José A. (Andy) Chacón, West Point graduate and politician; and Prof. George Fischbeck, assistant principal at Monroe Junior High. "My lie follows:

A Lie told by José A. "Andy" Chacón, Sandia Base Engineer, at the Wild Life and Conservation Association (Pre Wild Life Fund days) Banquet on April 26, 1962, at the Knights of Columbus Hall: (The menu entry was Bison;

Ladies and gentlemen. I am here this evening to relate to you a true life experience that is literally out of this world. I only wish that I possessed the oratorical talents of my colleagues here this evening in order that my choice of descriptive phrases and adjectives would do justice to this most remarkable and unusual happening. The incident that I am about to relate to you defies my meager vocabulary and forensic (argumentative) experience. It is for this reason that I have here with me this evening actual proof of some of the things that I shall tell you. I am a firm believer in the Chinese proverb, "One picture is worth a thousand words."

Last February 20th while the attention of the entire world was focused on a great scientific achievement, the three orbit flight around the earth by Colonel Glenn, an even more dramatic achievement was being unfolded. Tonight you will be the first to learn, first hand, of this historic event. What our space (NASA) authorities did not know then, and do not know now, is that stowed away in the third stage of the Atlas Rocket that propelled Colonel Glenn into orbit was;

" - that little old fisherman - me!"

You may recall that as the Friendship 7 went into orbit, the third stage of the Atlas was at first trailing right behind. As it fell further behind, our tracking stations around the world lost interest in the third stage and concentrated on keeping our radar eyes and ears on the capsule.

This is when I went into action! Unknown to the technicians at the Cape, I had bolted a steering mechanism to the vehicle, so at this point I took control and headed straight for the planet Venus. My experience on this trip would make a fantastic revelation in itself. Time does not permit me to tell you about this. Earth, as you may know, is the third planet in distance from the sun in our solar system. Venus is second in distance. Both are approximately the same size. Earth is 7,900 miles in diameter and Venus is 7,600 miles. The view from my space ship as I got further away from Earth is beyond description. I am happy to say that all of you can make this trip as a result of my treaty with the wonderfully friendly people who inhabit the planet Venus, as you shall see.

As I neared Venus, I became apprehensive. I realized that I knew nothing about that planet, except that it is the only planet that rotates clockwise, so I decided to maintain an altitude of 35,000 feet and look over the situation. As I flew around I saw beautiful green valleys and mountains, much the same as in our own northwest. I was rather hungry, so on seeing a big blue and majestic river below I decided to go in for a landing. I figured that I might do some fishing and thereby feed my hungry stomach. I approached the white sandy beach and set my ship down without any trouble.

I noticed great herds of unearthly game on the banks of the river; however, as I had nothing in the way of arms, I proceeded to the riverbank. What a truly beautiful sight that was. At the moment I was terribly thirsty. I literally threw myself into the water and drank that delicious substance. Not until then did I notice that the river was teeming with fish. All the fish looked like they were 24" or better so I just reached out and grabbed one by the gills and walked onto the sandy beach with it. I built a fire and cooked my trophy.

As I sat there enjoying my feast a Venusian came along the beach. He noticed what I was eating and attempted to discourage me from doing so. He pulled the fish away from my hand and threw it on the sand. I was still so hungry, however, that I just picked it up and proceeded to eat it anyway. At this point my friend ran off into the woods in obvious disgust. I finished my meal and was enjoying the immense beauty around me when the Venusian came back, this time in a boat. He was highly excited and motioned me to get in the boat with him.

As we pulled away from the bank he netted a fish just like the one I had caught previously. He hooked it to his fishing tackle and headed out for mid-stream. I watched in amazement as he cast out with that 24" trout on his hook. It was then that I realized that the fish that I had caught and eaten was merely good Venusian minnow. Suddenly, there was a tremendous pull on my friend's line. We were pulled several miles, the width of the river, almost. Then I saw what we had on our line a good twenty-foot rainbow trout. It jumped out of the water and literally flew for some one hundred yards. It was the most thrilling sight I had ever seen. After some five hours of fight, my friend headed the boat for the beach.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that trout was so big that we had to tow it ashore. Then I was in for another surprise. We had towed that fish partly out of the water when the Venusian pulled out a knife, walked up to the fish and removed its left ear lobe. He then removed the hook from the fish and it became apparent to me that its left ear lobe was all my friend was interested in. The fish then slowly swam away - to grow another left ear lobe - I found out later. Now, the left ear lobe of a trout that big weighs an average of five pounds. My friend prepared this delicacy for us and I must submit to you that it is absolutely the most magnificent dish (meal) imaginable, something like Blackened Orange Roughy.

I spent some forty days on Venus. During this time the Venusians, being an extremely advanced people, were able to decipher our English language and they were soon in communication with me. I learned that they had regular spaceship service to all the other planets in our solar system, except Earth. They had by-passed us because of our retarded and backward condition; however, I am happy to report to you that as a result of my visit they have decided to institute a CARE program for Earth. The first shipment of packages will be arriving very shortly.

On March 31st I became homesick for you, my earth-bound sportsmen friends. I decided that I should share this land of plenty with you. What Dr. Lincoln La Paz, noted UNM meteorologist thought was a meteorite was merely Flight 887 of Trans Polar Systems making a stop near Roswell to let me off.

The Venutians will welcome you as sportsmen on their planet.

For you non-believers, let me flash a picture taken by my friend of fish we caught.

Two Venusian Trophy Rainbows

Silhouted Against the Venusian Skyline!

Read On! Enjoy!